Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Perfection redefined

If you feel your life is not perfect---- you need to change your definition.

 This will be a series that I will label under this header from time to time. I will even log the posts in as episodes.
 Like a bad tv show, your friends train wreck lives, tales from the ER and, you know, those Wal- Mart people **gasp** you will look on in horror yet not be able to tear yourself away.

Episode 1

Does Martha Microwave?

I'm so not Martha. I wanna be but I am the more condensed version. The partially hydrogenated, no assembly required,  where is the easy button,  express checkout, I like the outcome but not the process type Martha.

 In my efforts to be a fun and creative Mom that will imprint fond memories into my children's lives that will hopefully overshadow all my imperfections I decided we would have "Caramel Apple Making Night."

Now Martha would have planted seeds from an apple in the ground in her backyard and grown an orchard of trees.

Having 24 hour access to all her apple creating desires, she would then hustle her billionaire bootie out there and pick a bushel and wash and line them up in her perfectly designed gourmet kitchen. She would have fabulously decorated handmade apple sticks

 that she would easily insert into the apples stem side, after removing the stem with her finely crafted stem remover. She would have pre planned and made her caramel from scratch.

After that she would have the precision and intellect for knowing how to get the caramel dipped apple perfectly round and magazine picture perfect. All placed on a unique and beautiful server for maximum presentation. 


Out food shopping for the week and see a box of caramel apple mix on display in the produce section and the price is right: 2.99. I chuck it in my basket thinking- this will keep the kids busy for 5 minutes and will be a great photo opportunity!
Apples are pricey at 3.99 a bag but can't make caramel apples without them. 

In the cart they go. Apple picking taken care off. Check.
Fast forward to last night. 

Kids you wanna make some caramel apples? Tahlia- me me I wanna make them. Brianna- ***screaming loudly from the depths of her teenage hideaway aka bedroom*** I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE!!!!
20 minutes later...

 Tahlia stabbed her 3 apples in the belly button.  Note to self >>>>>Microwave caramel apple mix only makes 6 apples.

Brianna makes her appearance and the fun begins.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^Notice the computer

 My presentation- so not Martha...
But yummy just the same.
Don't judge me. 


  1. I LOVE how you so vividly described in the world do you come up with this stuff?

  2. hahahha makes me want some.. but I want to buy them premade LOL